Dove's "Broken Wings"

Hello,

I was speaking to someone yesterday and he asked me why I titled my first novel under my real name "Broken Wings." The truth is, I didn't have a choice. Many of you authors get your ideas by seriously thinking, but I got my idea in church. Sundays when I am not in university and away from home, I spend it in Church with my mom. That's our time together. I was sitting there the day and I think the pastor was speaking about women in abusive relationships and how that wasn't where God wanted them. He was saying that sometimes these women stay in these horrible situations because of something that happened in their childhood--their father beat them and said "I love you that's why I do this--" which later gets carried over into their adult life when their men beat them and say the say thing they believe it's for real and don't leave (this was just one of the examples he gave).

The idea smacked me and I remembered I must have cringed for my mom turned and asked if I was alright. For the rest of the day this story was inside my head and I just couldn't get it out. After church my mom and I make supper and we all have dinner at the table since Sundays is the only day of the week when both my parents and myself are at home - I make sure I make no plans for Sundays. During the week everyone is working, baseball, friends everything just get in the way so Sunday is our family day. Anyways that night after dinner and my parents were chilling watching television - my dad was probably watching CNN and my mom stealing the remote to watch something else lol --I went up to my room and started writing. It was only a couple of weeks later the whole thing was finished and I started editing.

By the time it was finished, I couldn't get it accepted anywhere. I one publisher (which shall remain nameless) told me to change the main male into a white guy and move the story fromt he location that it takes place in. I told them to go suck a lemon (and this is me being polite here). I was given many excuses in rejection letters from the typical "it's not for us," to "It is too dark" to "add more sex." But I didn't set out to write something that was written every day and I sure as hell didn't set out to write an erotica. I set out to write something that was placed in my heart and to kinda of get some Therapy in the process - I guess.

Therapy? You must be asking WTF? Well it simple -- When I was a child I didn't have the best of childhoods (until I was adopted at 13). My new parents are amazing and I would do anything for them but my real mother was somewhat of a tyrant. Monique's childhood was as close as I could get to my own childhood without me breaking down and sobbing through editing. So this story was a part of my therapy in dealing with those memories so that's why she is the way she is.

I refused to Change Devaughn into a Caucasian male, not because I have anything against Caucasians because I LOVE writing Interracial stories - but this story was NOT meant to be IR. I wrote Devaughn because the majority of romances these days have Caucasian men and I wanted to show a black man that is strong, independent, not a thug and loves his woman so deeply that he goes to the brink of being pulled into her darkness with her. My baby sisters (20 & 21) read the stories that I write under my real name and I want them to see that there are strong men out there. I want them to see that if a Black guy step to them and he's like Devaughn then there's no shame in it. As well I wanted to put an African American male in a story that doesn't have him carrying a gun with baby mamas. I wanted him to be different.

Now to focus on why the story focused on Monique's drama. I don't know--and that's the truth. That was how the story came out. I had absolutely no control over it what-so-ever.

Anyways, that is my speel on Broken Wings. You can read an excerpt if you would like. You can find it by clicking here. Be careful since it is in both ebook and Print. Make sure you get the version you want.

I am still trying to gather reviews for it but so far not having any luck. I'm still going though.

*hugs*

Kadian

This Dove is in PAIN!

Hey All,

so, today has been a rather interesting day. So last night I decided to sleep on the ground so that my back had a hard surface to rest on. BAD IDEA! Man, it hurt even more by half way through the night so I got up and haul my body to my bed. The bed doesn't help because it's one of those dorm beds that forms to your body. So I spent the rest of the night lying on my back, tossing, gritting my teeth, turning and whimpering in pain. Why am I in pain? If you haven't read the other blog from a few days ago - I pulled a muscle in it while at the gym on Tuesday. Woke up this morning and could barely get out of bed.

Moving on, this morning I had a big day planned. It was all planned. I wanted it all to go smoooooothly. I'm gonna stop here to tell you, never plan your day. It never go like you want it. Here's proof.

This pic of the pole looking thingie, is a piece of artwork of recycling containers. I thought it's kinda cool.

My friend and I are taking this Theatre history course and she travelled the other day and left her book at the place where she stayed so they now have to ship it. She has NO idea when they will ship it so she asked to borrow my book to photo copy the first chapter so she doesn't fall too behind for reading since it's almost October and exams are quickly approaching like a ninja wearing slippers. (for those of you who doesn't get that joke, it means the Ninja is coming really fast and quietly. so exams are coming--well you get the picture). Anywho, she was supposed to visit me this morning at ten before I went to get the money the school owed me (FIN-fricking-A-ly!) then I was gonna come back home, she was going to call me to make sure I was back to bring the book back to me. Then I was gonna waddle my pain-riddled booty to the groceries (A half an hour walk on a good day) and get aspirins for my pain. But to top it off, I was gonna wake up at ten to get that all done.

First thing to go wrong, didn't wake up when my alarm went off at ten. Hit my snooze button twice -while thinking perhaps if I had an open window I would have sent my alarm clock flying-and got up at ten thirty. Wanted to take a shower but bending over hurt so I bypassed that. Got dressed (took me a good five minutes to get my pants alone on ugh) and sat down with a pillow behind my back for half an hour waiting for my friend but she never showed. Got pissed off and waddled to school (when I wasn't supposed to because I have the day off but I had to work around their schedule if I wanted my money back) only to see a giant ass line! Then to make it worse, only two people were working at peak time. I was livid. I wonder if they believe that it's only students, they won't complain, they have to do what we say! Two people for a university Cashier's office, at 11 o clock in the day when everyone is out of class! So I jamed on my mp4 player to some Pink (if you haven't heard the song 'funhouse' yet, you should. It's on youtube), Prince and Epik High. I was half way through Michael Jackson's Blod on the Dance Floor, when I finally got to the window. I showed my id, got my cheque and left. I finally got to stop for breakfast (now this was about a little after mid-day. I should have eaten at ten because I am on a diet and have to eat every four hours) and waddled back home.

I got home, still no call from my friend and I wanted to be a good girl so I left her a facebook message. Waited ten minutes then waddled half an hour to the grocery shop. Now check this out, I went for aleve and toilette paper. I shopped, came home, had a really nice cab driver who helped me carry my heavy bags, since I bought a 24 pack of water (it was on sale at 2.49 a pack for 24! I'd have to be nuts to pass that up). Got home, started talking to my friend Scottie on yahoo messenger then it hit me. I palmed my forehead and moaned, I bought the Aleve because with the pain in my back how could I forget that!? But I forgot toilette paper! It's not that I was out, but I will be by tomorrow so now I have to finish this blog, haul my booty BACK to the store instead of lying on my back doing nothing like I wanted to do! Burn that! I am TOOTALY taking cab - Can't make the walk twice in one day especially in this sun. Anyways, I'd better do it now since I have talked myself into it or I'll be sorry tomorrow... And yes, I did find time to take some pics--I took them with my MP4 player which I probably should have charged while I was sitting here typing this all out and loading the pics ---*sigh* It's just been a rather bad and irritating day and it's only one thirty...

*hugs*

Kadian

I got new model!

Hey ma babies

I am blogging with some sweet news! Remember my fanmail? Well after getting that I've decided to actually stop procrastinating (my second favourite past-time) and do the Major revisions needed for my short story Greyson's Heart. I have re-titled it Greyson's Second Chance and given it a new cover. That is just half the most excellent news.

The rest of the most awesome news? I have an actual model on the cover!!His name is Adnan - isn't he fabulous? Wait I have to say it right FAB-U-LOUS! I met him in high school and he's a really good friend. He's currently roaming the world like nomad but technology has kept us close. I miss him terribly but facebook and MSN are beautiful things in times like this. He has so graciously, blushes and all, agreed to be my cover boy whenever I need him and I needed him for Greyson. I didn't want a face that was seen on other covers all the time from all the other stock photo places.

Anyways, enough gushing about my fantabulous Adnan, my back is still hurt because of that pulled muscle but I am feeling much better. I am so tired--stayed up all night making that cover then stayed up till almost 5 AM torturing Adnan it was such fun but now I am *yawn* exhausted.

And guess what, I have a FULL day of classes today... But am not complaining don't talk to the boy as much as I used to --I used to talk to him every day at school---and then BAM! We had to grow up...*Sigh* don't you just hate when real lige get in the way? lol.

Anywho again, must focus on this class

...must...focus...on...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hugs
Kadianzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Woosah!

So, I am finally back in the hole - erm I mean Univeristy, and already the school managed to mess with me. I don't know I think they get off on driving me insane but after three weeks of fighting with them I am finally getting my money back! Well they screwed up on my meal plan and blah blah frigging blah. So it took them one click to mess up everything and three bloody weeks to fix it. *woosaaaah* Am good (a little Martin Lawrence: Bad Boys reference there).

So after they fixed all that, I had to use all my party money to buy my books until I can get money from them. Can you tell me how long it takes to write a cheque have it signed and I pick it up. Man--red tape is EVERYWHERE! So I told them I wanted the money and I have to wait a week to get it. So I finally bought all my books at RIDICULOUSLY expensive prices! One was gonna cost me $150 in the bookstore. I bought it on Amazon, paid for shipping and handling, paid for it to get t me in three days and didn't spend over $100! So see? They are expensive for no reason which pissed me off but guess what? I graduate soon! (God willing I get through this English class! It's driving me absolutely bonkers!).

One of my baby sister's birthday is coming up September 28 and she'll be hitting the big 21! Can you believe? I have a baby sister that's 21! OMG! *gasp and pulls hair out* So I have to buy her something absolutely smashing. Don't know what it will be yet though. I have until Saturday to figure it out, then I have to ship it to her which will take a while--oopsie I guess I should have planned this better huh...wow...but she will get it soon, even if I have to express mail it to her. Wow, I have a sister that's turning 21....

Anyways, I found this new radio station (106.7-the beat of Detroit) that comes outta Detroit that's playing 10 000 songs in a row without commercials! You read that right, 10 000, it wasn't a typo. I am listening to see if they could actually do it because they would have to play at least 130 songs a day for at least eighty days (took radio broadcasting in college so the math was fairly simple). So far they've been doing well. They've been playing songs from the sixties all the way up today and it's been one big party in my room since I found it. I've been 'shaking it like a polaroid picture' every time I'm in my room lol. But seriously, I've heard songs I haven't heard in a while like "Creep" by TLC, (it was greate to hear Left Eye Rap again since she died a few years ago), Let Me Love You Down, Tell Me What You Want Me To Do, Oh Sheila, Who Is It? ---a whole slew of oldies that I've been in love with even though most of them were released beforeI was even a sperm lol. After listening to this station I really need to update my jam box on the side of my page.

Anyways, I am at school, trying to keep up with reading, writing, social life, job hunting for once I graduate, travel prices and all that good stuff...but I should probably get to some editing lmao.

*sings Love Game by Lady Gaga*

Kadian

Blah Blah Blah

So, Michael Jackson has been finally laid to rest. I mean that has got to be a record since the man died weeks ago. I don't know, I guess things works differently for celebrities, right? Anyways it's that time of year again and I am getting ready to head back to school. Actually I head down on Sunday but I procrastinated again and now I am packing at the last minute. My dad hasn't started fussing over me yet which is a good thing - for now lol. I think he gets nervous when I'm supposed to leave.

So far I have two suitcases packed plus four extra bags. One with kitchen stuff, one with shower and cleaning stuff, another with extra knick knacks like my favorite romance novels, star trek novels and general fiction novels plus my alarm clock - I think its about time I stop using my cell phone as my alarm clock since sometimes it doesn't even go off *sigh*. I need a new phone but I am biting the bullet and waiting until I graduate in April *cringes*. I am praying the phone stays alive till then.

I got a release date for A Lover's Wish - December 1, 2009. Look out for a contest for that and for xmas. I still haven't decided if I'm going to write an xmas story but I supposed if I am going to make a decision it has to be in the next few weeks. Probably after I get settled in classes. But from the looks of my book list I'd say I wont be settling much. I have eight books for one class *rips hair out* it's gonna be stressed to the max but I look at the bright side, perhaps I'll learn enough HTML in that class along with CSS to make my own websites sizzle right? I was hoping my drama class would save me but it doesn't look that easy either...I think I need a miracle lol.

Anyways, back to packing I go.

with love,
Kadian